sorry to every friend, follower everyone else who might like my stuff i really wanted to do some christmas drawings but i dunno if i will get in the mood for this at the moment because on saturday 13. dec something horrible happened concerning my family so for everyone who don´t want to read drama, sad nonsense of a stupid, useless wannabe artist this is your chance to stop reading.
so why am i writing this drama stuff anyway? dunno if this looks this way but i don´t want to seek attention, sympathy or condolence through this journals but they help me a little bit to handle with my mixed up feelings so sorry if i annoy you with stuff like this.
well now to the tough part...
this saturday after me and my grandpa did a little party to celebrate our birthdays which are just separated by one day (his birthday was the 10. dec) and everyone left the party my grandma who spend the day in bed because she seemed to have a cold feelt worse from one moment to the other and was screaming of pain so i called 911 and the emergency guys where fighting for 2 hours to get her stable for the ride to the hospital after her heart stopped beating but they couldn´t help her anymore.
she was not in a good condition cause of her age and many emergency surgeons in the past but no one would thought she would die all of a sudden.
at the moment i don´t know how to feel (well sad off course) cause everything happened so fast.
also i really want to support my grandpa and the rest of the family at the moment but i feel like i am not a big help which drives me crazy... feeling helpless in such moments sometimes feels even worse then the sadness Dx
this whole thing will haunt me for quit some time so sorry for any moodswings that might appear in the ext time